Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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