You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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