I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
