we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
