I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Randomize
