the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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