so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
