His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
