i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize