I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.