whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
