lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
