Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
