i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
wow bdsm is so cute
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
