Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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