I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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