So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wish you could order shots online.
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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