gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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