ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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