Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
3 2 1 whiskey
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize