5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
