Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
