There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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