It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
