so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
