Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
