***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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