I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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