I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
