Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
