this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
