Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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