You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
