You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
