I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
