he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
