I wannas sexs uuuuu
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
