Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think i have herpe
just one?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
