Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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