just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
