Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
