i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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