My balls are so social today.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
