drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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