Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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