So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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