It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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