He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
