I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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