I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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