i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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