I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
