I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
