In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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