please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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