I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
