So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
