What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
