i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Who died my cat blue again?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
